THE CHRISTIAN MOTHER By John Abbot- 1833, Chapter 6: Fruits Of Piety: Part Two

The Christian Mother

FRUITS OF PIETY

by John Abbott, 1833, Worcester, Mass. Published by the American Tract Society

Read Chapter 1 : The Mothers Responsibility

Read Chapter 2 : The Mothers Authority

Read Chapter 3 : The Mother's DIFFICULTIES:

Read Chapter 4: FAULTS and ERRORS:

Read Chapter 5 : RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION

Chapter 6: FRUITS OF PIETY

3. KINDNESS. The spirit of religion is the spirit of self-sacrifice, of giving up our own convenience, and relinquishing our own rights—that we may promote the happiness of others.

We are thus to endeavor, not only to secure the happiness of those we love—but also to promote the happiness of those who are unkind to us, whose characters and manners are disagreeable.
We are instructed in the Bible, that we must in this respect imitate God, "who makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." Now we must diligently practice this sentiment ourselves, and diligently inculcate it upon our children. Teach them that it is by no means enough, that we love those who love us—that we are kind to those who are kind to us.
Our kindness must be a state of the heart—an established principle of universal application. Wherever we can confer a favor, we must do it gladly, whether they who receive it are deserving or undeserving—and we must thank God for the opportunity to thus doing good.

We must remember that an act of kindness however small, if it proceeds from sincere goodwill is pleasing to God. We must teach this truth to our children. A little child, for example, is seated at a corner of the fireplace, on a cold winter morning. It is a snug corner—the pleasantest seat in the room. With an entertaining book in her hand she is enjoying her pleasant position. Her brother comes in from the cold. At once, perhaps, the thought arises in her mind, "I got this seat first, and have a right to it. It is so comfortable that I cannot think of leaving it." This is the selfish spirit of earth and sin. But she repels this thought. The spirit of Christianity and heaven springs up in her heart, and, immediately rising from her seat, she affectionately says, "Here brother, you look very cold. Take this warm seat. I am quite warm, and will move a little further from the fire."

Now, God looks down upon that act, and is pleased with it. It is acting like God. Angels look down and love such a spirit, and say, "That is the spirit of heaven; there is a child whom we should wish to have associated with us here."

This spirit you should manifest at all times, and on all occasions, and thus set the example of it to your children. Teach them to be ever ready to do all in their power to make others happy. When with their brothers and sisters, or with their associates at school, they must be ever ready in all things to relinquish their own plans to gratify others. A plate of apples is brought into the room. One is larger and more luscious than the rest. Teach them not to choose that one for themselves—but to select it kindly though unostentatiously, for their brother, or their sister, or the friend who has come to visit them. Some play activity is proposed.
Teach them to relinquish their own preference, for the choice of others. So, in everything in which it is not wrong to yield, teach them to give up their own wishes—that they may gratify others.

We must be careful, however, that this amiable and yielding disposition does not degenerate into indecision and fickle-mindedness. We are never to yield in the least degree where it is wrong to do so. Whatever we think to be our duty, that we must mildly and kindly, but firmly resolve to do—at all hazards.
We must not say, "It is a little sin, and I will indulge in it to gratify others." Remember that the time is near when we must appear before God's judgment—and he will not deem it an excuse for displeasing him, that we did it to please our friends or associates. These temptations we must resist—and God exposes us to them that by resistance we may strengthen in our hearts the principle of obedience to him.

A person may have the most amiable disposition in the world—the kindest and the most gentle—and yet possess such a degree of decision of character as to be willing to encounter any opposition and any ridicule rather than do the least wrong.
This was the character of our Savior. He was willing to leave heaven, and all the joys of heaven, and to suffer and die upon the cross, that he might do us good. All this he could do for those who did not love him; who were his enemies, and who, with hatred and insult, nailed him to the cross. Such fearful sacrifices as these our Savior could make to promote the happiness of others. And yet there never was any other person in the world, who had so much decision of character as he. No earthly motive could induce him to do anything in the least degree wrong.

We must all possess the spirit of Christ, if we would be his disciples. We must imitate him in his self-denying kindness—in his forgetfulness of his own comfort, that he might promote the happiness of others—and also in his conscientious discharge of duty at all hazards. To cultivate this disposition, is one important part of the Christian conflict.

4. POLITENESS. Some people may be surprised in finding politeness mentioned as one of the fruits and evidences of piety. You have, perhaps, ever been accustomed to regard politeness as one of those fashionable graces which belong rather to the gay and thoughtless—than to the serious and devotional.
But the truth is, that politeness is one of the most important of Christian virtues. "Be courteous," is one of the injunctions of the Bible. Indeed, the Bible contains the most perfect rules of politeness known in the world; and it enforces the observance of those rules, as of infinite importance. The most perfect definition of politeness that I have ever seen, is "real kindness, kindly expressed."
Politeness does not consist in flourishing manners and airs, artificially acquired. It is the natural expression of amiable feeling. If we carefully cherish the feelings to which I have alluded under the head of kindness, and, with real and unostentatious benevolence, treat all with whom we associate according to these principles—we shall be truly polite.
Our manners will be pleasing to all people. And people who have not these feelings, and wish to appear polite, will attain only to the empty and lifeless form. Indeed, it is hard to conceive how one can be a Christian, who is not polite. The Christian character is certainly very defective, where this grace is lacking—for it implies the absence of the most lovely traits of the mind and of the heart.

A writer says, "A gracious word is better than a gift;" and it is indeed true, that some people will confer a favor in so repulsive a way that it gives you pain rather than pleasure to receive it. Our real kindness must be kindly expressed. If it be not so, we shall often give more pain than pleasure by that which we intended as kindness.

Let the mother than teach her children, both by precept and example—to be always polite. Let her feel real kindness for all, and express the kindness that she feels, in a kind manner. Let her inculcate these principles upon her children. Show them plainly that both points are essential. It is not enough that there should be a substantial feeling of kindness in the heart—it must be kindly expressed. On the other hand it is not enough that there should be kind expression of words or acts—there must be kind feeling in the heart.

This distinction may be made very clear to the youngest child by the following example. I was once riding with a clergyman, when we met a poor, lame man walking along the road. The clergyman thought it would be a deed of kindness to help him on his way, and stopping his horse, said,"Here, you lame man, get in here!" The poor man was glad for the ride, and got in. The clergyman took no further notice of him, but employed his mind with his own thoughts. Occasionally the poor man would make some remark; but no attention was paid to what he said, unless it was necessary to answer him, and then the reply was a short yes or no. At length we arrived at the place where the man wished to get out. As he left the carriage, he very warmly thanked the clergyman for his kindness in giving him the ride. Not a word, however, was said in reply to his thanks; but the clergyman merely drove on. Now, the unkind manner in which this favor was conferred, undoubtedly gave far more pain to the poor man than the ride gave him pleasure. It was, indeed, conferring a favor in an extremely unfeeling and unchristian way. The clergyman was exceedingly impolite.

Suppose now that he had added to the substantial favor which he intended to confer the charm of kindness of manner in conferring it. He would have said,
"Friend, I have a spare seat in the carriage here—will you not get in and ride a little way?" He would then have cheerfully and socially conversed with the man, and manifested some interest in his history. And when the man left the carriage, and thanked him for the ride, he would have replied, "You are very welcome, sir." This manner of conferring the favor would have cheered and gratified the lame man, and he would have gone to his home with happy feelings.
It is surprising what a vast amount of happiness may be conferred in a long life—by a kind manner of doing kind things. It is by a careful attention to these little things, as some consider them, that we are to make those happy who are around us. As our whole life is made up of such little things as moments, so is the happiness or the unhappiness of life dependent upon the pains or pleasures with which these swiftly-flying moments may be filled. And it is invariably true, that, that person is the happiest who does the most to promote the happiness of others.

A selfish man is always an unhappy man. And a selfish child is always an unhappy child—as she sits alone in her corner, eating her apple, which she refuses to share with brother or sister—as she eagerly takes the most comfortable chair in the room—as she grasps the new book, resolved to have the pleasure of reading it first—she is, and must be unhappy. Conscience within her is disturbed, and her countenance shows in its unamiable expression what an uncomfortable heart she has. And just so it is with those, who have passed the period of childhood.

The man or woman who has grown up with a selfish spirit—is friendless and joyless. Such people are often to be seen. They live as it were alone in the world. They love no one—and no one loves them. And, after a heartless life, they die—and no one laments them.

Let children be trained up then to cultivate a courteous spirit—to speak in kind tones of voice—to use a gentle and pleasant way of doing kind things—and it will promote their happiness every day that they live. It will tend to make all around them happy. Others will imitate their example—and imbibe their spirit. The spirit of politeness will vastly increase our influence also, in turning others to the Savior. It will confer honor upon the religion of Christ; for the world judges of Christianity—not so much by the teachings of the Savior—as by the lives of its professors!

There is nothing in this world worth having which can be attained without effort. If you would possess the grace of Christian politeness—you must make it a part of your Christian duty and a subject of prayer. You must resolve in the morning, that you will endeavor through the day kindly to manifest kind feelings. And at night, in self-examination, you must inquire where you have failed in this duty—what opportunities you have enjoyed where you might have contributed to the happiness of others, but in which you have failed to do so.

This is the true spirit of heaven. If we are ever to enter heaven, we must have this spirit. And it is here, in this world of sin—that we are to triumph over temptation—and subdue passion—and attain all those lovely traits of character which will make us happy companions for angels, and for the spirits of the just made perfect.

To Continue to read Chapter 6: Part Three