THE CHRISTIAN MOTHER By John Abbot- 1833, Chapter 5: Religious Instruction: Part Eight

The Christian Mother

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION

by John Abbott, 1833, Worcester, Mass. Published by the American Tract Society

Read Chapter 1 : The Mothers Responsibility

Read Chapter 2 : The Mothers Authority

Read Chapter 3 : The Mother's DIFFICULTIES:

Read Chapter 4: FAULTS and ERRORS:

Chapter 5 : Part Eight:

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION

9. Next to the Bible, as a means of religious influence, we must place the careful culture of our own hearts. The parent must strive to be herself, just what she wishes her child to be.
She must cherish in her own spirit those virtues and those graces, which she desires to see as the embellishments of the character of her child.
Our children have more right to expect that we shall be model parents—than we have to require that they shall be model children. Their temptations are as severe for them as ours are for us. We are apt to think their burdens light, because upon our mature minds they would press with but little weight. And thus most erroneously we excuse ourselves for defects, which we censure severely in them.

Would you have your children look to God sincerely, affectionately, cheerfully—as their Father and their friend—their sympathizer in joy—their comforter in sorrow? Lead them to do this—by your example. Let them see this spirit in you. When you bend over the cradle of a dying child—when disaster comes and sweeps away your means of luxury and even of comforts—when disease takes you from the busy cares of the household and you languish in debility and pain upon your bed—then is the time in which to show the loveliness and blessedness of confidence in God. A smile upon your countenance, a glance of confiding affection in your eye, a word of calm submission from your full heart, will then go to the hearts of your observing children, with great and effectual power.

Words alone are air. They fall upon the ear, and are forgotten. But who ever forgets abiding, consistent, unvarying example? What child ever ceases to remember the life—the daily life, of its father and mother?

The ornaments and graces too, of the natural character as well as the principles of piety, can best be inculcated upon children through the influence of example. Would you have your daughter learn to control her passions, and cultivate a subdued, gentle, and submissive spirit? Would you have her speak soothingly to her little brother, when he is irritated, and bear her own little troubles without fretfulness or complaining? Show her how to do it by your example. When the careless maid drops the china vase, or spoils the dinner, or breaks the lamp of oil upon the carpet—then is the time, in which to teach your child how to govern herself. This is your hour of conflict. Gain the victory yourself, and your child will gather strength from your success to struggle with her own temptations and sins.

Say not that the annoyances and trials which you have to bear, are too great to be always endured with equanimity. God lays upon his children no intolerable burdens. We need such discipline as these things bring that we may be able to sympathize with our children in their trials. And we surely ought not to be surprised to find that our children get vexed and angry at the disappointments and injuries which befall them, if we lose our own tempers and resent with ruffled feelings and angry words the acts of carelessness on the part of others by which we are annoyed.

Parents should never, especially in the presence of their children, give way to feelings of irritation and anger. Even when a child does wrong, there should be no expression of resentment or vexation in our looks or in our words. We may act firmly on such occasions, and reprove effectually—while yet we maintain throughout, the quiet, gentle, and peaceful spirit by which the conduct of the Christian ought at all times to be characterized.
In fact, the efficiency of parental discipline will depend in a great measure upon the mildness and gentleness of the form it assumes; while at the same time, by assuming such a character, it makes the subject of it gentle and mild.

In the same manner, feelings of benevolent regard for the happiness of others, and all other right moral sentiments of heart, can be best cultivated through the influence of parental example. Would you cherish in your child, a heart to feel for others' woes—a generous spirit, active in the relief of distress? Take your son or your daughter with you, as you grope through the dismal passageway, to the room of sickness and poverty. Let him see the scanty furniture, the thin clothing, and the feeble flame dying on the hearth. Let him carry, himself, the basket which conveys comforts to the desolate—and the spirit which glows in your bosom, will warm his also—and the spirit of benevolence which Christ has enkindled in your bosom, will diffuse its warmth into his youthful heart.

It is a beautiful arrangement of Providence, that requires that the great work of the formation of the character of children should be done in the heart of the parent herself. I am to teach my child to avoid vanity, and pride, and selfishness—by cultivating within myself, with never-tiring industry, the spirit of lowliness, of humility, of self-sacrifice. It is thus, more effectually than in any other way, that I am to reach and influence his heart. So I am to curb the impetuous passions of my child, mainly by gaining the victory over myself, and bringing all my own passions under perfect control. It is thus within myself—it is in my own heart, that I can work most effectually in molding the character of my children; for in promoting their moral progress I must go before them and lead the way.

What fearful questions, then, arise in the mind of every parent? Am I what I wish my child to be? Am I grateful, submissive, cheerful? Have I conquered my passions, obtained weanedness from the world, and am I daily, in my life, presenting an example such as my child may safely imitate? Here lies the great work of parental faithfulness. Here is to be laid the deep foundations of all salutary family discipline. Thus did our Savior plead. Such was the influence he wielded. Persuasive as were his words, infinitely more persuasive was the power of his example.

To Continue to read Chapter 5: Part Nine