THE CHRISTIAN MOTHER By John Abbot- 1833, Chapter 6: Fruits Of Piety: Part Four

The Christian Mother

FRUITS OF PIETY

by John Abbott, 1833, Worcester, Mass. Published by the American Tract Society

Read Chapter 1 : The Mothers Responsibility

Read Chapter 2 : The Mothers Authority

Read Chapter 3 : The Mother's DIFFICULTIES:

Read Chapter 4: FAULTS and ERRORS:

Read Chapter 5 : RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION

Chapter 6: FRUITS OF PIETY: Part Four:

Teach your children to cultivate, as one of the fruits of piety, scrupulous delicacy and PURITY of mind.
The conscience of children will be a very sensitive guide upon this subject—if it is in a healthy state. Teach them that any conversation which they would be unwilling to engage in, or to repeat in the presence of their mother, they ought to refuse to hear.

If their associates at any time commence such conversation, they ought to leave them at all hazards—whether the others are offended by it or not. They cannot be too careful respecting the words that they use—or the ideas that they allow to enter their minds.

The delicacy of the mind is very easily impaired, and, when once impaired, the injury is irreparable. Even in the higher walks of life, females are often met with who seem to have no sense of propriety. They are always introducing topics of conversation which are revolting to the refined mind, while they themselves have become so desensitized in their feelings, that they appear entirely unconscious of any impropriety.
Other ladies have an instinctive modesty and delicacy—which is their brightest ornament. You never hear from them a word, or an allusion, which is not pure and pleasing. The appropriate simplicity of their dress—the softened tones of their voice—the topics of conversation which they introduce—and the gentle expression of countenance—all unite in testifying the spotless purity that reigns in their hearts. Who can see such a lady, and not esteem and love her? The indecent of either sex are rebuked by her presence. Even indecent ladies (if it be not a perversion of language to call one a lady who has an impure mind) are careful, in her presence, to put a guard upon their tongues.

"Keep your heart with all diligence," is one of the cautions which God has given us, and the happiness of every young Christian depends more upon the cultivation of this virtue, than we often imagine.
To find, as we go on through life, that our thoughts naturally dwell upon objects which are pure and pleasant—will be one of the richest sources of our earthly enjoyment. We must necessarily pass many—very many hours in life—with our own thoughts. If our thoughts are such that they give us uneasiness of conscience, and we must be continually struggling against them, we shall have many days of secret, but real sorrow. If, on the other hand, by a careful cultivation of the heart, we have cherished only those thoughts which conscience approves—we shall probably move about, in our daily employments, in tranquil happiness.

Explain these principles to your children, and endeavor to lead them to resolve that they will not at school, or anywhere else, engage in conversation, or listen to conversation, which they would not be willing to repeat in the presence of their father and their mother. Let that be with them the test of propriety. Say to them that if at any time they are in doubt, whether the conversation which they are hearing is proper or not, they must ask themselves, "Am I willing to repeat this to the family, at the supper table, this evening?" If they are not, then they must refuse to hear it. If they cannot turn the conversation to a more wholesome topic, they should leave the company. Teach them to remember that God is always present—that His eye is upon them—that He hears every word that is uttered—that He sees every thought of the heart—and that as they prize his approbation, they must resolve to cherish, with the utmost care, purity of heart.

8. A very scrupulous observance of TRUTH should be one of the prominent fruits of piety. To some it may seem that this is almost a needless direction. In fact parents are very slow to be convinced that their children ever tell falsehoods at all. It is an almost invariable rule, that all mothers believe that their children always speak the truth—and it is a rule almost equally invariable, that they are all mistaken.

Children generally will say what is false, until they are taught to speak the truth. Sometimes they are thus taught very early, and in such cases the mother, forgetting the infantile falsehoods, says that she never knew her child to tell a lie.

Even in later years it will not do generally to trust to any 'natural love of truth', to save our children from the sin of falsehood. We must often, in our conversations with them, present this subject to their attention, not in the way of suspicion and fault-finding, but of confidence and goodwill. We must explain to them how God regards the sin of falsehood, and cite and explain those passages of Scripture which relate to the subject.

The mother must herself, also, always be honest, and frank, and open, in all her dealings with all her children. Never combine, as many mothers do, with an older child, to deceive a younger one. If you do, you must expect that your children will combine together to deceive you! Be honest with them all, and in your dealings with your friends, and neighbors, and acquaintances—be open and sincere. Thus you will lead your children in the right way.

4. The spirit of FORGIVENESS is one of the fruits of piety. The mother must cultivate this spirit herself, and inculcate it upon her children. Teach them that the rule of Christianity is, "Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give what you have to anyone who asks you for it; and when things are taken away from you, don't try to get them back. Do for others as you would like them to do for you." The mother must inculcate this principle, like all the others, by her own example. And next to her own example, the narration of instances of a forgiving spirit will have a greater influence upon children, than any general precepts or exhortations.
I will here, for example, relate such an instance.
There was once a rich merchant who had many peculiarities of character which exposed him to ridicule. He was a benevolent man, but he was of such eccentric habits, that a witty writer could easily represent him in a ludicrous light. A certain neighbor of his, without any just provocation, published a most insulting pamphlet against him, calling him 'Billy Button', and holding him up to the laughter of the world, in the most contemptuous and ludicrous attitude in which he could be represented. The publication of such a pamphlet was as gross and cutting an insult as could be inflicted, for there is nothing that the human mind so much recoils from, as derision and scorn. The merchant read the libelous pamphlet, and simply remarked that the writer would probably live to repent of its publication.

Someone informed the writer of the pamphlet of the remark that the merchant had made. He considered it as an angry threat of vengeance, and said that he would take good care to keep out of the merchant's power. But in a few years, in the course of business, the writer of the libel unavoidably became deeply indebted to the merchant, whom he had so wantonly injured, and became a bankrupt. For unless the merchant would forgive the debt, the writer could never enter into business again, and must always remain a poor man.
By much exertion and after many delays, the unfortunate debtor effected a settlement of his affairs, and obtained a release from his other creditors—but how could he go to the merchant whom he had made the laughing-stock of the town—and who had declared that the libeler would yet live to repent of his publication? It seemed folly to hope that he would forget the wrong, and forgive the debt. But the claims of a suffering wife and children at last compelled him to make the application. Humbled by misery, he presented himself at the office of the injured merchant. The merchant was at his desk alone, and as he turned around and saw his libeler before him, his first words were, "Take a seat, sir." The guilty man, trembling with apprehension of the repulse which he so richly deserved, told the piteous tale of his misfortunes, and presented his certificate of release, signed by his other creditors, though he had but a very faint hope of obtaining the signature of one he had so deeply wronged.
The merchant received the certificate, and, as he glanced his eye over it, said, "You wrote a pamphlet against me once, I believe, sir." The wretched man could make no reply. The merchant, saying no more, wrote something upon the certificate, and handed it back to him. The poor debtor in despair received the certificate, expecting to find written upon it something expressive of indignation. But how great was his surprise to see, in fair, round characters, the signature of the merchant, releasing him from his debt!
"I make it a rule," said the forgiving man, "never to refuse signing the release of an honest man, and I never heard that you were anything else." The surprise and joy were too much for the poor creditor, and he burst into tears. "Ah!" said the merchant, "my saying was true. I said that you would live to repent writing that pamphlet. I did not mean it as a threat. I only meant that some day you would know me better—and would repent that you had attempted to injure me. I see that you repent it now." "I do, indeed I do!" exclaimed the grateful man. "Well, well, my dear sir," said the merchant, "you know me now. How will you get on? What are you going to do?"
The unfortunate man replied, that having obtained a release from his creditors, he had friends who would assist him in getting into business again.
"But how are you to support your family in the meantime?" asked the merchant.
The man's answer was, that having given up every farthing to his creditors, he had been compelled to deprive his family of even common necessities.
"My dear sir," said the merchant, "this will never do—your wife and children must not suffer. Be kind enough to take this to your wife from me," handing him a fifty dollar bill, "and keep up a good heart. All will be well with you yet. Set to work with energy, and you may yet see many days of prosperity." The poor man was entirely overcome by his emotions. He could not speak. His feelings forbade all utterance, and burying his face in his handkerchief, he went from the room sobbing like a child!

Stories which afford practical illustrations of any moral principle, will generally exert more powerful influence upon the minds of children than general instructions. The minds of the hearers catch the spirit which the story exemplifies by a sort of moral sympathy.
The mother who is aware of this, will, in her general reading, watch for incidents and passages which she can turn to good account in interesting and instructing her children. These she will read and explain to them at proper times, and enforce the lessons which they are calculated to teach, by additional remarks of her own.

Teach your children thus in every way to cultivate a forgiving spirit. Tell them that this is the spirit of the Bible—the spirit of Christ. No one who has any other spirit can safely offer the prayer, "Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us."

Continue to read Chapter 6: Part Five