Are Your Children Obedient and Happy? Part 3-Attitude of Mother

What Kind of Attitude In Obedience To God Do We Have?
Please see part 1- Introduction

In the last post on this series: "Are Your Children Obedient and Happy? Part 2-Divine Order)" I talked about Divine Order. God clearly shows us through His divine order how we should set our priorities.

As a godly women, wife and mother, our priorities in obedience are first to God, and then to our own husbands. I would like to talk more about attitude in obedience. This is something we will always need to examine in our hearts, and perhaps always struggle with, but with God's help we will improve as we learn to trust Him.

Our attitude in obedience to God is important. God resists the proud. If our attitude toward obedience to God is wrong, it is always, always, because of pride in our hearts. "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:6-7)


We might say, "I want to obey God in everything, I want to serve Him with all my heart." That is good, but when the test of this comes, do you truly follow and obey? Our God tells wives to submit to their own husbands, this is the divine order, How well are we obeying God in this?


What if your husband tells you not to buy processed sweets and candy? You love sweets and candy, and so do your children, what can you do?
I had this happen, it was difficult to say the least. I struggled when I was at the grocery store as we passed the candy counters. Before, I use to pick up a candy bar or some chocolate and eat what I wanted and shared it, but now if I did this I would be.... gulp... disobeying God! Yes, since we have a divine order, God says,"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands." To buy that candy would mean disobeying my husband's wishes, and above that disobeying God!
If I said in my heart, "How ridiculous, he just wants to control me in everything, I don't have to listen to him in something so silly." What would I be doing? Would I be acting like a "daughter of Eve?" .... Genesis 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes,....

Would it be pride? Yes! Why? Read the rest of the account in Genesis 6.... and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, ...

Eve wanted to be wise like God, she did what she felt like doing.
What about taking the candy off the the counter, buying it and eating it, despite my husbands wishes, how is this pride?
Doing so would be a direct disobedience to God, It is pride that makes me callous and non-thinking. I take the candy, I eat the candy.... I think I know better than God.
Maybe I'm not thinking in my heart, "I know better." but I have an attitude of willfulness, it is my attitude that spurs my rebellion. It is the attitude of the heart that our God is seeing.
This is rebellion, I am deceived... what is more frightening is that the next time I have an opportunity to obey, it will be harder to do so. The more we disobey God and ignore His promptings, the harder our hearts become and spiritually deaf we become.


Well, I am speaking out of experience here. Yes, after a struggle and a determination that I was going to obey my husband in this, I gave in and ate that candy. I was rebellious and my children knew it. Several things happened from a seemingly small thing; my children had less respect for authority, and I became very sick. I knew that the sickness was directly connected with my disobedience and it humbled me to a huge degree. The Lord taught me through that experience that obedience to Him in the seemingly smallest matters is very important to Him. I did confess my sin to God, to my husband and to my children. This experience caused me to feel sober about obeying my husband in the smallest matters. Undesirable consequences are the results of disobedience. My relationship with God depends on my obedience to Him... it is extremely important.

(And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.) (Hebrews 12:5-8)


(Those who are the true followers of God know that I am not talking about "Legalism" here. I am talking to those who are already saved through faith in Jesus Christ our God. Those who have been washed with His blood and believe in their hearts that God raised Him from the dead. Those who are saved from the wrath of God that was on them because of their sin. Those who know that Jesus took God's punishment and wrath on himself for their sin on the cross and shed his blood and died. Those who believe on Him in their hearts and have repented of their sins. Who have been saved and have become a new creature in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We are freed from the bondage of sin and given liberty not to sin! Praise God!!!)
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1)

We have lessons to learn! We have so MUCH to learn! Are we teachable?

Mothers, your attitude will rub off onto your children. If you are obeying your husband but resent him while you are doing it, your children will see through you and they will feel the same about authority.

There are times when we want to have a good attitude, but find that a wrong attitude suddenly appears when we are not expecting it. If this happens we need to stop and ask ourselves, "Why?"
Examine your heart before God. Ask God to reveal to you why you are irritable, or angry. Ask Him to reveal the pride of your heart, (Yes, pride is always, always, behind a bad attitude! ). Be teachable, if God will show you areas of wrong attitudes of your heart... repent of them and ask Him to help you have His perspective in your thinking. We need to ask Him for a humble and quiet spirit.:

"Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." (James 4:8-10)

Dear Mothers, we have been given a very serious and eternal job in raising our children for God. This is not a time to play or be, "flippant". Oh take this task before you seriously, a responsibly before God, it is He to whom you will have to answer. Be serious about your own relationship with Jesus Christ. Seek Him with all your heart, and let Him mold and shape you for His glory.

To conclude my story about sweets and processed sugars.. I learned of other healthy alternatives for sugar... and it started our family onto much healthier eating! Praise God!

To be continued... in part 4

Are Your Children Obedient and Happy? Part 2- Divine Order

Have you seen an Obedient, Happy Child?
See part 1-Introduction

This is part 2 of : "Are Your Children Obedient and Happy?"

Mother's, it is worth our while to take a good look into our own hearts to see if we have the right attitude about our obedience to God. God has made a "Divine order" for us to follow.

Really, it is very simply laid out for us, so that we are without excuse.

Here is the Divine order:

Fear, Love, Serve and Obey God First:

"And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, To keep the commandments of the LORD, and his statutes, which I command you this day for your good?"(Deuteronomy 10:12-13)

And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in your heart:
(Deuteronomy 6:5-6)


Husbands Are The Head Of The Wife:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; " (Ephesians 5:23-25)

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
(Colossians 3:19)


Wives Are To Submit Themselves To Their Own Husband:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
(1 Corinthians 11:3)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
(Ephesians 5:22)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.
(Colossians 3:18)

Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conduct of the wives;
(1 Peter 3:1)


Children Are To Obey Their Parents:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1-3)

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
(Colossians 3:20)


God has given us a Divine Order to follow, Are we following?

Adam and Eve were given a divine order to follow:

Man Was Given Dominion Over The Earth:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth...(Genesis 1:27-30)

God Forbid Them To Eat Of The Tree Of The Knowledge Of Good And Evil:

And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat of it: for in the day that you eat thereof you shall surely die.
(Genesis 2:16-17)


Dear Mothers! Who first ate of this tree? Who gave the fruit to her husband? The wife, Eve!


Let me ask you this... was Eve willful? What does God's Word say? :

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
(Genesis 3:6)

Eve listened to the temptation of the serpent (satan). Here she followed her fleshly desires:

"The steps of the transgression, not steps upward, but downward towards the pit - steps that take hold on hell.":

Matthew Henry gives an excellent commentary of this passage:

1. "She saw. She should have turned away her eyes from beholding vanity; but she enters into temptation, by looking with pleasure on the forbidden fruit. ..... Let the fear of God be always to us for a covering of the eyes."

2. She took. It was her own act and deed. The devil did not take it, and put it into her mouth, whether she would or no; but she herself took it. Satan may tempt, but he cannot force; may persuade us to cast ourselves down, but he cannot cast us down, Mat_4:6. Eve's taking was stealing, like Achan's taking the accursed thing, taking that to which she had no right. Surely she took it with a trembling hand.

3. She did eat. Perhaps she did not intend, when she looked, to take, nor, when she took, to eat; but this was the result. Note, The way of sin is downhill; a man cannot stop himself when he will. The beginning o it is as the breaking forth of water, to which it is hard to say, “Hitherto thou shalt come and no further.” Therefore it is our wisdom to suppress the first emotions of sin, and to leave it off before it be meddled with.

4. She gave also to her husband with her. It is probable that he was not with her when she was tempted (surely, if he had, he would have interposed to prevent the sin), but came to her when she had eaten, and was prevailed upon by her to eat likewise; for it is easier to learn that which is bad than to teach that which is good. She gave it to him, persuading him with the same arguments that the serpent had used with her, adding this to all the rest, that she herself had eaten of it, and found it so far from being deadly that it was extremely pleasant and grateful. Stolen waters are sweet. She gave it to him, under colour of kindness - she would not eat these delicious morsels alone; but really it was the greatest unkindness she could do him. Or perhaps she gave it to him that, if it should prove hurtful, he might share with her in the misery, which indeed looks strangely unkind, and yet may, without difficulty, be supposed to enter into the heart of one that had eaten forbidden fruit. Note, Those that have themselves done ill are commonly willing to draw in others to do the same. As was the devil, so was Eve, no sooner a sinner than a tempter.

5. He did eat, overcome by his wife's importunity. It is needless to ask, “What would have been the consequence if Eve only had transgressed?” The wisdom of God, we are sure, would have decided the difficulty, according to equity; but, alas! the case was not so; Adam also did eat. “And what great harm if he did?” say the corrupt and carnal reasonings of a vain mind. What harm! Why, this act involved disbelief of God's word, together with confidence in the devil's, discontent with his present state, pride in his own merits, and ambition of the honour which comes not from God, envy at God's perfections, and indulgence of the appetites of the body. In neglecting the tree of life of which he was allowed to eat, and eating of the tree of knowledge which was forbidden, he plainly showed a contempt of the favours God had bestowed on him, and a preference given to those God did not see fit for him. He would be both his own carver and his own master, would have what he pleased and do what he pleased: his sin was, in one word, disobedience (Rom_5:19), disobedience to a plain, easy, and express command, which probably he knew to be a command of trial. He sinned against great knowledge, against many mercies, against light and love, the clearest light and the dearest love that ever sinner sinned against. He had no corrupt nature within him to betray him; but had a freedom of will, not enslaved, and was in his full strength, not weakened or impaired. He turned aside quickly. Some think he fell the very day on which he was made; but I see not how to reconcile this with God's pronouncing all very good in the close of the day. Others suppose he fell on the sabbath day: the better day the worse deed. However, it is certain that he kept his integrity but a very little while: being in honour, he continued not. But the greatest aggravation of his sin was that he involved all his posterity in sin and ruin by it. God having told him that his race should replenish the earth, surely he could not but know that he stood as a public person, and that his disobedience would be fatal to all his seed; and, if so, it was certainly both the greatest treachery and the greatest cruelty that ever was. The human nature being lodged entirely in our first parents, henceforward it could not but be transmitted from them under an attainder of guilt, a stain of dishonor, and an hereditary disease of sin and corruption. And can we say, then, that Adam's sin had but little harm in it?

Here we read from Matthew Henry's commentary how dreadful and wicked taking the fruit and disobeying God was!

But so often in life there may be sins that we do that we might turn our own eyes from or will not face. However, the consequences of those sins might be greater than we can imagine. How do those sins effect our children?

You may wonder what all this has to do with having an obedient and happy child:

Having a truly obedient and happy child must begin in the heart of the parents. I am an older women teaching younger women how to love their husbands and children... so I am addressing the mothers in my writings and encouraging them to examine their own hearts. Please do not point to your husband and say, "Well what about him?" Please point to yourself and say, "What about me?" For the Bible clearly states: "Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish plucks it down with her hands." (Proverbs 14:1)
The enemy of our souls does not want us to realize how much our obedience to God, or disobedience to God will effect our children for their entire lives.

Mothers, please begin now and examine your own hearts to see if you are in the faith and know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior. If you do, then now examine your own hearts and ask God to reveal any sin that you might not want to admit to, or that you are turning your eyes away from. Get your heart right with your Savior!


To be continued in part 3- Attitude of Mother