THE CHRISTAIN MOTHER By John Abbot- 1833. Chapter 2: Part Four

THE CHRISTIAN MOTHER

by John Abbott, 1833, Worcester, Mass. Published by the American Tract Society

Start at Chapter One Here: The Mothers Responsibility

Chapter 2: Part Four:

The Mother's AUTHORITY

Is it said that by noticing such little things a mother must be continually finding fault? But it is not a little thing for a child to disobey a mother's commands!

This one act of disregarding authority prepares the way for another. It is the commencement of evil which must be resisted. The very first appearances of insubordination must be checked.

There are doubtless cases of trifling faults occurring, which a wise parent will judge it expedient to overlook. Children will be thoughtless and inadvertent. They will occasionally err from strict propriety, without any real intention of doing wrong. Judgment is here requisite in deciding what things must be overlooked; but we may be assured, I think, that direct and open disobedience is not, in any case, to be classed among the number of trifling faults. The eating of an apple banished our first parents from paradise. The atrocity of the offense consisted in its disobedience of a divine command.

Now, every mother has power to obtain prompt obedience—if she commences with her children when they are young. They are then entirely in her hands. All their enjoyments are at her disposal.

God has thus given her all the power she needs to govern and guide them as she pleases.

We have endeavored to show, by the preceding illustrations, that the fundamental principle of government is—when you do give a command, invariably enforce its obedience. And God has given every mother the power. He has placed in your hands a helpless babe, entirely dependent upon you; so that if it disobeys you, all you have to do is to cut off its sources of enjoyment, or inflict bodily pain, so steadily and so invariably that disobedience and suffering shall be indissolubly connected in the mind of the child.
What more power can a parent ask for than God has already given? And if we fail to use this power for the purposes for which it was bestowed, the sin is ours, and upon us and upon our children must rest the consequences.

The exercise of discipline must often be painful—but if you shrink from duty here, you expose yourself to all that sad train of woes which disobedient children leave behind them. If you cannot summon sufficient resolution to deprive of enjoyment, and inflict pain when it is necessary, then you must feel that a broken heart and an old age of sorrow will not be unmerited. And when you look upon your dissolute sons and ungrateful daughters, you must remember that the time was when you might have checked their evil propensities.

If you love 'momentary ease' better than your children's welfare and your own permanent happiness, you cannot murmur at the lot you have freely chosen. And when you meet your children at the bar of God, and they point to you and say, "It was through your neglect of duty that we are banished from heaven—and consigned to endless woe!" you must feel what no tongue can tell.

Ah! it is dreadful for a mother to trifle with duty. Eternal destinies are committed to your trust. The influence you are now exerting will go on, unchecked by the grave or the judgment, and will extend onward through those ages to which there is no end!

Continue to Chapter 2: Part Five

Are Your Children Obedient and Happy? Part 2- Divine Order

Have you seen an Obedient, Happy Child?
See part 1-Introduction

This is part 2 of : "Are Your Children Obedient and Happy?"

Mother's, it is worth our while to take a good look into our own hearts to see if we have the right attitude about our obedience to God. God has made a "Divine order" for us to follow.

Really, it is very simply laid out for us, so that we are without excuse.

Here is the Divine order:

Fear, Love, Serve and Obey God First:

"And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, To keep the commandments of the LORD, and his statutes, which I command you this day for your good?"(Deuteronomy 10:12-13)

And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in your heart:
(Deuteronomy 6:5-6)


Husbands Are The Head Of The Wife:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; " (Ephesians 5:23-25)

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
(Colossians 3:19)


Wives Are To Submit Themselves To Their Own Husband:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
(1 Corinthians 11:3)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
(Ephesians 5:22)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.
(Colossians 3:18)

Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conduct of the wives;
(1 Peter 3:1)


Children Are To Obey Their Parents:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1-3)

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
(Colossians 3:20)


God has given us a Divine Order to follow, Are we following?

Adam and Eve were given a divine order to follow:

Man Was Given Dominion Over The Earth:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth...(Genesis 1:27-30)

God Forbid Them To Eat Of The Tree Of The Knowledge Of Good And Evil:

And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat of it: for in the day that you eat thereof you shall surely die.
(Genesis 2:16-17)


Dear Mothers! Who first ate of this tree? Who gave the fruit to her husband? The wife, Eve!


Let me ask you this... was Eve willful? What does God's Word say? :

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
(Genesis 3:6)

Eve listened to the temptation of the serpent (satan). Here she followed her fleshly desires:

"The steps of the transgression, not steps upward, but downward towards the pit - steps that take hold on hell.":

Matthew Henry gives an excellent commentary of this passage:

1. "She saw. She should have turned away her eyes from beholding vanity; but she enters into temptation, by looking with pleasure on the forbidden fruit. ..... Let the fear of God be always to us for a covering of the eyes."

2. She took. It was her own act and deed. The devil did not take it, and put it into her mouth, whether she would or no; but she herself took it. Satan may tempt, but he cannot force; may persuade us to cast ourselves down, but he cannot cast us down, Mat_4:6. Eve's taking was stealing, like Achan's taking the accursed thing, taking that to which she had no right. Surely she took it with a trembling hand.

3. She did eat. Perhaps she did not intend, when she looked, to take, nor, when she took, to eat; but this was the result. Note, The way of sin is downhill; a man cannot stop himself when he will. The beginning o it is as the breaking forth of water, to which it is hard to say, “Hitherto thou shalt come and no further.” Therefore it is our wisdom to suppress the first emotions of sin, and to leave it off before it be meddled with.

4. She gave also to her husband with her. It is probable that he was not with her when she was tempted (surely, if he had, he would have interposed to prevent the sin), but came to her when she had eaten, and was prevailed upon by her to eat likewise; for it is easier to learn that which is bad than to teach that which is good. She gave it to him, persuading him with the same arguments that the serpent had used with her, adding this to all the rest, that she herself had eaten of it, and found it so far from being deadly that it was extremely pleasant and grateful. Stolen waters are sweet. She gave it to him, under colour of kindness - she would not eat these delicious morsels alone; but really it was the greatest unkindness she could do him. Or perhaps she gave it to him that, if it should prove hurtful, he might share with her in the misery, which indeed looks strangely unkind, and yet may, without difficulty, be supposed to enter into the heart of one that had eaten forbidden fruit. Note, Those that have themselves done ill are commonly willing to draw in others to do the same. As was the devil, so was Eve, no sooner a sinner than a tempter.

5. He did eat, overcome by his wife's importunity. It is needless to ask, “What would have been the consequence if Eve only had transgressed?” The wisdom of God, we are sure, would have decided the difficulty, according to equity; but, alas! the case was not so; Adam also did eat. “And what great harm if he did?” say the corrupt and carnal reasonings of a vain mind. What harm! Why, this act involved disbelief of God's word, together with confidence in the devil's, discontent with his present state, pride in his own merits, and ambition of the honour which comes not from God, envy at God's perfections, and indulgence of the appetites of the body. In neglecting the tree of life of which he was allowed to eat, and eating of the tree of knowledge which was forbidden, he plainly showed a contempt of the favours God had bestowed on him, and a preference given to those God did not see fit for him. He would be both his own carver and his own master, would have what he pleased and do what he pleased: his sin was, in one word, disobedience (Rom_5:19), disobedience to a plain, easy, and express command, which probably he knew to be a command of trial. He sinned against great knowledge, against many mercies, against light and love, the clearest light and the dearest love that ever sinner sinned against. He had no corrupt nature within him to betray him; but had a freedom of will, not enslaved, and was in his full strength, not weakened or impaired. He turned aside quickly. Some think he fell the very day on which he was made; but I see not how to reconcile this with God's pronouncing all very good in the close of the day. Others suppose he fell on the sabbath day: the better day the worse deed. However, it is certain that he kept his integrity but a very little while: being in honour, he continued not. But the greatest aggravation of his sin was that he involved all his posterity in sin and ruin by it. God having told him that his race should replenish the earth, surely he could not but know that he stood as a public person, and that his disobedience would be fatal to all his seed; and, if so, it was certainly both the greatest treachery and the greatest cruelty that ever was. The human nature being lodged entirely in our first parents, henceforward it could not but be transmitted from them under an attainder of guilt, a stain of dishonor, and an hereditary disease of sin and corruption. And can we say, then, that Adam's sin had but little harm in it?

Here we read from Matthew Henry's commentary how dreadful and wicked taking the fruit and disobeying God was!

But so often in life there may be sins that we do that we might turn our own eyes from or will not face. However, the consequences of those sins might be greater than we can imagine. How do those sins effect our children?

You may wonder what all this has to do with having an obedient and happy child:

Having a truly obedient and happy child must begin in the heart of the parents. I am an older women teaching younger women how to love their husbands and children... so I am addressing the mothers in my writings and encouraging them to examine their own hearts. Please do not point to your husband and say, "Well what about him?" Please point to yourself and say, "What about me?" For the Bible clearly states: "Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish plucks it down with her hands." (Proverbs 14:1)
The enemy of our souls does not want us to realize how much our obedience to God, or disobedience to God will effect our children for their entire lives.

Mothers, please begin now and examine your own hearts to see if you are in the faith and know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior. If you do, then now examine your own hearts and ask God to reveal any sin that you might not want to admit to, or that you are turning your eyes away from. Get your heart right with your Savior!


To be continued in part 3- Attitude of Mother

Are Your Children Obedient And Happy? Part 1- Introduction

A beautiful sight to behold is an obedient and happy child. Have you seen one?


Better still is to have your own child obedient and happy and let me say, they are a delight to be around!

Things that I would like to write on this subject are so vast that it will take several parts to cover. So.... this is Part One on: "Are Your Children Obedient and Happy?"


There is a reason the title of this post puts obedient before happy, for without obedience, there is no happiness.

Why is it very important that children obey their parents?


The most obvious answer to this question is that God commands it! Here are just a few verses to remind us of this fact:


"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." (Ephesians 6:1-3)

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)


"Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God, but turn aside out of the way which I command you this day, to go after other gods, which ye have not known." (Deuteronomy 11:26-28)

We as mothers aught to look very carefully at these Scriptures and consider that obedience to God is extremely important, there are consequences to both sides of obedience.

"But this thing commanded I them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you. "(Jeremiah 7:23)

"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." (Exodus 20:12)

God has commanded children to obey their parents. This is a COMMAND!


Oh godly mothers let us think about this very soberly!
We won't allow our children to do anything that is physically harmful to them, like put their fingers in a electrical plug, or run into the street, or play with a sharp object, get near the oven, etc.. Yet what if they delay to come when called, or talk back, scream for something they want, won't eat the food set before them, grumble and whine when they don't like something, etc...? How harmful is that for them? God warns the children to honor and obey their parents SO:

"That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."

"A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God"

"Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people."

His warning continues: "And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God".....

So, how harmful is it to our dear children if they are not taught to obey their parents? According to God's Word it is very, very bad and harmful for them. Do we believe what God says? If so, let us act like it!

God commands parents to teach their children to obey and gives warning to us!

from the Geneva Bible :
The rodde (rod) and correction giue wisdome (give wisdom): but a childe (child) set a libertie,(liberty) maketh his mother ashamed. (Proverbs 29:15)

King James Bible:
"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." (Proverbs 29:15)

"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell". (Proverbs 23:13-14)

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him".
(Proverbs 22:15)

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
(Proverbs 22:6)

Better is a poor and a wise child than an old and foolish king, who will no more be admonished.
(Ecclesiastes 4:13)

We must take the instruction from God in raising children very seriously! If we should go our own way, do our own thing in raising our children and ignore these warnings, there will be a life time of eternal consequences, not only for our children and grandchildren but also for us. We do reap what we sow and as a garden that is not "tended to" becomes dominated with weeds, so children not "tended to" becomes dominated with sin and evil. This mother knows the bitter anguish and sorrow that is hers as a consequence from this. "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." (Proverbs 29:15) Though now I do praise Him for saving me and teaching me truth, I still have sorrow for the past sins I committed against my older children before I was saved. (Yet God is faithful and answering prayer for them. We are clay in the Potters hands)


I have heard many mothers complain that they love their child too much to spank them. They try their own methods of discipline which often leaves a child extremely frustrated and angry. God has given us clear instruction to use a rod... spank! A rod is a rod... not a club, but a thin piece of wood or something that will not cause physical injury. A spank with a rod should "smart" and sting. The child should know that he has been spanked by the aftermath stinging sensation on his bottom! But I plan to get more into this in one of the post on this series.



Mothers, getting back to the idea of loving your child too much to spank them, or correct them, I have a few things to say. Is that true love? I have heard mothers say, "I want my child to like me." So they coddle the child and try to reason with them as if they are adults, Is that true love? What kind of love do we love our children with? There are many types of love, how are we loving our children? A godly mother who wants to obey God and discipline her children according to His Word needs to ask God to give her Agape love for her children. Agape love is God's love. Agape love:

" entails the decision to proactively seek someone's well-being. Since it is not a knee jerk reaction nor just a responsive feeling to how I've been treated, agape is capable of acting in a hostile environment where there are no warm fuzzy feelings. For example, Jesus' teaching that we should agape our enemies is intended to show the boundless nature of the Christian commitment toward seeking another's well-being. Luke 6:35 The New Testament is full of examples and teachings illustrating the nature of agape as well as teaching designed to train the disciple's heart to be shaped by agape. A few examples illustrating the active nature of agape include: • Knowing that sinful man would kill His Son, but also knowing that without Jesus we were doomed, God loved (agape) us by sending his Son. John 3:16 • Those who love (agape) Jesus will do what Jesus taught. John 14:15,23 • If a person has material resources and the love (agape) of God within him, his heart will take care of his brother who is in need. 1 John 3:17 • Just as Christ through love (agape) acted on behalf of the church, so too the Christian husband is to be motivated by love (agape) to act on behalf of his wife. Ephesians 5:25-29"
taken from: http://www.sjchurchofchrist.org/agape.shtml

"A Short Handbook on Love"


I do not think we can comprehend the depths of God's love! The true people of God have the Spirit of God and He gives us the fruits of His Spirit which includes love, that is, His love. We must love our children with His love...and then we can discipline them with godly wisdom.

Facets of His love are deep and have no limit!

Take a look at this cut ruby, the depth and beauty is just amazing! Looking at this we have a visual of depth reflecting the underlying symmetry of the crystal structure. The deep symmetry of God's love is way beyond our understanding! We need to love our children with this perspective.. a deep and precious facet of God's love is discipline.

"And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons." (Hebrews 12:5-8)

To be continued... part 2 of: "Are Your Children Obedient and Happy?"