I want the best for my child. The very best for him is to teach him the way of the Lord Jesus Christ. The very best for him is having Parents that will listen and obey God in their living and in training him. God has made it very clear how to raise a child, there is no need for confusion. Obey God, do what He says in His Word. The Lord says: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."(Mat 6:33) That is clear instruction isn't it? In everything that arises in life and also at the beginning of each day, seek God, call upon the Lord Jesus Christ, repent of any known sin. Jesus will give help and strength if you ask Him. Meditate upon His Word, pray often to Him. Ask Him to show you any selfish areas in your life that need to "die". Dieing to self is an important part of being an
obedient child of God. Jesus gives clear instruction about dieing and denying self:
"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?"(Luke 9:23-25)These are just
two verses that give clear instruction to us and of course the Bible is filled with instructions and guidance for us. Why not teach these things to my children? They are capable of learning and understanding. I don't want to limit my growing child's mind with simple silly entertaining activities for tools of learning, but rather with the sincere milk of the Word of God!
The Lord Jesus Christ brought me to faith in Him and repentance of my sins, washed my sins away with His shed blood and saved me. He gave me faith in my heart that God raised Jesus from the dead. He saved my soul from the wrath of God that I deserve. He gave me His Holy Spirit and I am His forever. His yoke is easy and His burden is light, I am His servant. I gladly and happily serve Him with the joy He gave me, my joy is full, it is His joy!
It is because I am His that I desire godliness and righteousness for my children. I desire them to be saved and be godly. Therefore, I want to do right and raise them according to God's Word. Through the guidance of His Spirit, following His Word, I learn how to raise my child. God has given guidelines in His Word with His standards and instructions to follow. He has given to us a type of 'How to' book, He is very clear and forthwith about this subject. I know to trust the Author of this book, He is all knowing, all wise, and perfect, so I take what He says very seriously and desire to follow and obey Him.
I'd like to go through a few verses of this wonderful guide Book and talk about them. Here are some of my thoughts I'd like to share:
My children are given to me by God to raise them for Him. My husband and I are responsible in their training to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, (Eph 6:4) And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Admonition, means: "mild rebuke or warning" in the Greek. It also means "calling attention to".
The verse begins with: "Fathers provoke not your children to to wrath." I believe God addresses the Fathers first because the weight of the responsibility falls on the fathers. Yet, I believe that mothers are also required to follow the same instruction. I am an older women teaching younger women, so it is the mothers I am talking to.
Let's look at ways parents can, "
provoke a child to wrath":
Not showing my child respect:
Your child is a person created by God and given to you to train for Him. Keep in mind that children have not yet learned to hide their true nature which sometimes is very ugly. The sobering thing is, we see ourselves, our own nature in them. When we detect an ugly nature in our child it can make us angry, especially if we see ourselves in them. What ever way we respond to them, to correct or discipline, it should be with respect and love for the child.
To be respectful does not mean to ignore or softly chasten a child that is acting in disobedience, for that is not respectful to them at all! Respecting my child means that I love my child enough to be his friend and instruct him with biblical discipline.(Pro 27:6) " Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. " My child is in need of training, what if I hugged him and kissed him when he was naughty? What if I gave him a small rebuke, a little pat on the bottom and a gentle, "No". Am I being a faithful friend to this child whom I love and adore? Think about this, am I a friend or an enemy to my own child?
Oh mothers! Train your dear children the biblical way! If my child is naughty, I will take him to a place away from the rest of the children, make him sit with me and ask him what he did that was naughty. If he is too young to answer, I will tell him, but if not, I will ask him questions until he admits to me that he was naughty. Then after the confession of the disobedience I will ask him again if God has something to say about it, and let him answer, or explain to him what God says. Since he has disobeyed God first: "Children obey your parents in the Lord" (Eph 6:1) I point out to him that disobeying God is very, very bad. Next I will tell my child that God has also given Mommies a command to spank him if he is naughty, I need to obey God too. Here are some scriptures from Proverbs about spanking:
"He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him betimes,(early)."Proverbs 13:24 , "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.",22:15 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if you beat him with a rod he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod And deliver his soul from hell." 23:13+14,"The rod and correction give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."29:15
When I spank my child using a thin rod, I have him bend over and tell him the number of spanks he is about to be given, say three or more. If he holds still he gets three spanks on his bottom, if he does not hold still more will be added. If the spanking was not given with a good "sting" the child will probably get angry and not sorry. It is very important he knows that a spanking hurts, it's something he does not want to happen again. After the spanking I let him cry a few minutes then ask him if he is sorry for disobeying God and Mommy? If he affirms this, I ask him if he would like to tell God about it to ask for forgiveness. If he is very young I'll help him pray. After him, I pray and give a hug and kiss for comfort, then have my child go directly to anyone he offended to ask for forgiveness.
Yes it takes time, it's not easy. It is very well invested time! The need to spank will come much less frequently as it instills in the child a respect and understanding of the responsibility he has to God in obedience. A well trained child is a delight to be around!
Another aspect of provoking a child to wrath concerns the other sibling. If a mother sees her child being disrespectful to his sibling and does not properly, biblically discipline him,( or allows him to "get by" with it), it will cause deep resentment in the heart of the sibling and a feeling of anger and dis-respect toward the mother. I must also mention that the naughty child will have a sense of dis-respect toward the mother as well and a feeling of insecurity because in his heart of hearts, he does not want to "get away" with being naughty. If I do not biblically train my child, I am cheating my child out of wisdom and knowledge and the fear of the Lord. I am allowing him to be foolish, I am willing for him to go to hell,(Prov. 23:13+14) I am causing my child to feel insecure and angry at me.
Do I love my child enough to chasten him? Better yet, do I love and fear God enough? God says a rod, God says start early, God says do not with-hold it, God says it will give him wisdom and could work to help save him from hell. Do I believe God? If I obey God and follow His commands and rules He is faithful to work in the heart of my child to bring forth an understanding of and fear of God. That is something I long for and want for my child.
You can go to a web search and find out all different aspects and ideas concerning spanking a child. There are some very harsh and angry reactions on this subject. No matter what the outcry might be from those who have their own experiences or ideas, no matter how they might twist and reason, I believe God. Yes, I believe God, He is trust worthy and His guidelines are faultless.
When I take time to discipline my child and do it biblically, I am showing him respect and love.
There are so many other ways of showing respect, they all take time, but well invested time. Here are a few ideas:
Build a friendship with him or her: Reading to him, (especially the Bible and Bible stories), playing games, showing love and affection, looking at him and at his eyes while listening to him when he talks to me, or when I talk to him. Teach him to help me in my house work, or give him responsibilities and show gratitude at his efforts. There are so many ways to build a friendship, which is another way to say, "win his heart!" Biblical discipline will also help you win his heart, because it shows God's love for him. Children feel blessed and happy after a biblical spanking. The discipline cleanses their conscience, assures them of your love and care for them.
It is so very important to incorporate the Lord Jesus in all your activities through-out the day.
Talk of Him, ask God to show you creative ideas how to bring Him into every subject. Point them to Him always.
How much does God want you to talk about Him to your children?
"You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates," (Deu 11:18-20)
Dear sweet mothers, I have done this, not perfectly, but a great deal. Oh, there are no words to express the flood of joy that filled my heart as I spoke of Jesus and His wonderful love, incorporating Him into activities, school work, cleaning, playing, walking, gardening and a multitude of other things. Now I talk of Him to everyone! He's the One I want to talk about! My days are full of joy and excitement because of Jesus! Why would I want to go back to plain and boring worldly things? Knowing Jesus Christ in true fellowship with Him is life indeed!
A Mother Can Provoke Her Child To Wrath By Her Disrespect To Her Husband:
Oh mothers! Your children are watching you! What kind of example have you set before them?
Am I respectful to my husband? Do I reverence him in all things?
Ephesians 5:22"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." "Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything," ... .."Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands..."
Your children are watching you! If I am dis-respectful to my husband in any way, and do not honor him, but then turn and expect my children to honor me, my children can easily be provoked to anger. If they see me talking behind his back, or disregarding things he has asked me to do, how am I setting an example to my children of honor and obedience?
How important is it to God for you to honor your husband?
"Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything," ... .."Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands... Ephesians 5:23+24"
Let us fear God and obey Him!
